Not just a reference to the fact that I’m overeating again this week (for no other reason than I can) but also so that I can mention in passing that I picked up a copy of Bioshock for a mere 15 squid. It’s a stunning looking game and yes, does play very much like it’s “spiritual” predecessors, System Shock 1/2. So much so that I’m expecting an identical story twist half way through. It is extremely atmospheric and more than a little scary.

I don’t quite know how I’m managing to get the time to play it (couple of hours in the evening being with an extremely calm and undemanding 5 day old daughter probably) but I’m looking forward to exploring more of Rapture.

My wife, her obviously visible pregnant bump and I went for a lovely meal at a local tapas restaurant last night. While the patatas bravas probably lacked that spicy kick you’d get in a bar run by a genuine Mardrileño, it was flavoursome and congenial enough that I’d want to go back. The staff were quite charming and poilte. As we left, the conversation went something like this:

Waitress: I hope you enjoyed your evening. (Indicating Mrs T’s bump) When are you due?
Mrs. T: About now?
Waitress: You’re expecting soon?
Mrs. T: No, I’m in labour now.
The waitress went a quite obvious whiter shade of pale.
Mrs. T: (cont.) Don’t worry, I’m not going to give birth here.

That was at about eight-o-clock. Four hours later, precisely on midnight, Mrs. T gave birth - at home - to a little girl hatchling weighing all of 7lbs and 3oz and a sister to hatchling #1.

That was some tapas!

I’ve made a little error in judgement.

Ya see, I’ve got a brand new shiny-shiny and it’s, well, extremely shiny. It’s a laptop. The same one I tried buying last year only newer, better specs, direct from Dell and shinier. But… there’s a little problem. A tiny problem. A problemito if you will. And that’s quite aside from the fact that it comes with Internet Explorer 6 installed as default (with Windows XP Pro SP2 - Vista be damned!)

The miniscule issue I have - and I confess that I’m entirely to blame for my propensity for magpie-like attraction to the shinies, is that the laptop, with its 2.6Ghz Dual Core CPU, 4Gb RAM, 400Gb HDD, Dual 256Mb SLI Geforce 8700M GT Graphics adaptor, remote controlled media player, 17″ widescreen and backlit keyboard, is too big to fit in my motorcycle panniers. Also the power supply is the size of a brick. Well, half a brick but seriously, it’s brick sized. Red brick not breezeblock because that would be silly. It’s HUGE (and that’s before you add in usual male exaggeration). I suppose it’s not actually a surprise when you consider it’s a desktop replacement rather than a tiny portable. Ah well - it’s a problem I can deal with.

Did I mention how shiny it was?

(P.S. When I get my broadband connected in the flat next week, there will be no stopping my plans for world domination. You have been forewarned. And forewarned, as they say, is given enough notice to make the appropriate plans.)

I could begin this post with a plenitude of pithy aphorisms about the nature of fear, the effect it has on the soul and the fine line between audacity and insanity. I could philosophise about how the highly evolved ego can dominate control the primal instincts of the id, supressing the fight or flight instinct and standing tall against adversity. None of this would hide the fact that I was so frightened that I nearly shat myself on Sunday night.
(more…)

That was March. I hope you enjoyed it.

After 78 days in captivity in the darkest recesses of Nottingham, I’ve learned two things:

1. I can’t count.
2. I tend to over-dramatize things.
3. Nottingham is (apparently) a city.
4. I really can’t count.
5. Only 4 people actually live in Nottingham.

I say that Nottingham is apparently a city because I still haven’t actually made it into the city centre itself so as far as I’m currently concerned, it’s just suburbs and not a lot else. Then again, the flat I’m renting is technically in Derbyshire so what the hell do I know? As for there only being 4 people who actually live in Nottingham, this is based on the fact that of the two Nottingham bloggers that I know of and feature in my listAllFeedRead(), I bumped into one in the local deli. So how big can Nottingham actually be? (Or is it, in fact, just testament to either my magnetic charisma or, more probably, my tendency towards stalking my victims before pouncing?)

Anyway, despite being accosted by a man attired in sweaty, running gear (sorry about that), Ms Rullsenberg was very gracious and charming at the impromptu blogmeet held in the tinned goods aisle. I don’t know what she thought after having someone yell “Oi! You! Blogger!” at her from the other side of the supermarker nor do I want to know what the she made of the contents of my shopping basket (which at that time contained a jar of chili sauce, rubber gloves and a bottle of cheap white wine - don’t ever let it be said that I don’t know how to have a good time!) Anyway, both she and her man were very charming and didn’t hit me so that was nice.

As an aside, I’ve started working on Revelation again although it mostly involves totally reworking the story. A friend told me about a story he’d heard on Radio 4 (on some wildlife program, no less) which was intriguing but also gave me some new ideas which, so far, appear to hold together much better. It’s always suprising how sometimes life can be stranger than fiction.

…sausage rolls.

I must be getting responsible in my old age. Today was the first time I’ve not only been aware of the fact that the Budget was taking place, I also was paying close attention but mainly as small businesses got pretty screwed over last year and the proposals for this year weren’t looking too promising. Fortunately, the big issue I was concerned about has been delayed until next year. Not that it matters anyway as Brown’s last fucking act as chancellor screws most of the people on a lower income anyway and these days, that includes me. Labour: protecting the interests of the wealthy since the Tories messed it up.

Anyway, enough of the politics. What the fuck is with CSI: Miami? It’s fucking dreadful! I know a lot of people rave about the original CSI which I confess to never having watched but I did catch this spin off last night and it was truly, truly terrible. I hope it’s not representative of the rest of its siblings! On a more positive note, I’m currently disappointed at not being able to tune into Virgin One on Thursday nights to catch the Sarah Connor Chronicles Terminator TV show thing. I watched the first one and it seemed quite good or perhaps that was because I think Lena Headey is far, far hotter than Linda Hamilton ever was.

Life in Nottingham is… unsettled. I still don’t have a place to live but am waiting to hear about leasing a flat which will give me a base to run my operations out of. I haven’t ventured far out of the guest house I’ve been staying in but have managed to finally watch the entire third season of Battlestar Galactica which entertained me for a couple of evenings. On the other evening, I rewrote a short script for the umpteenth time so that felt productive too. I celebrated by getting very drunk on Amaretto - I seriously know how to party hard.

That’s it. Nothing interesting. Haven’t finished my review of Cloverfield and rarely get a chance to netConnect() these days.

The year is whizzing past faster than I care to think about. It seems like only yesterday that I was being told my contract was going to end early and here I am, two months later, about to start a new one.

I know I’ve been a neglectful blogger recently, not only in terms of content delivery but also in reciprocating comments or even pageviews. It’s going to get worse before it gets better and I’m likely to be even more absent over the next 4 to 6 weeks than I have been recently. Unless, that is, my new client foolishly decides to furnish me with a laptop. Otherwise it’ll be April before I get one of my own (as getting one before means I miss new legislation regarding capital expenditure plus VAT benefits and other blah blah blah tediously dull stuff that will save me a wadge of readies - stuff I wouldn’t have known about if it wasn’t for Lyle so cheers matey, I’ll be buying a beer and toasting your health the cash I’ve saved!)

On the plus side, being away from home means I get to go the cinema* more. Woot and, indeed, yay!

*They do have cinemas in Nottingham, don’t they?

My current contract ended today so we had a bit of a piss up last night and I’m not feeling altogether clever today but anyway, it’s over and done with and I don’t have to do that commute anymore. I get a week off and start a new contract at the beginning of March. I don’t quite know how I manage to fluke rolling from one job to the next without much trouble but there we go.

The downside is that it’s in Nottingham - which is not to cast aspersions on the place because although it’s inhabited by delinquents and reprobates and although everyone keeps telling me that it’s got the highest rate of gun crime in the UK, it is, reputedly, a pleasant location in which to domicile oneself. The downside comes in being 100 miles away from where I live which means commuting is pretty much out of the question (4+ hours a day? Fuck. That.) so I’m going to have to be away from home for the forseeable future.

That’s the forseeable future for the next three months which is over the end of April/ beginning of May which is when what happens? Anyone? What happens at the beginning of May? Bueller? Anyone? Bueller? Yes - that’s right, the birth of my second hatchling. So it’s highly convenient that I might get a call at, I don’t know, 2am and have to jump on my motorbike and hare home like a crazy-mad person.

There have been easier arrangements.

So mucho shito to sorto outo which predominantly is going to revolve around accommodation and finding out what the seediest parts of Nottingham are so as not to find lodging there.

Life. Don’t talk to me about life.

Yeah, it was pretty good. I enjoyed it which I’m glad about because I still had reservations about it going into the cinema but I came out happy.

Spoiler filled review when I can be bothered.

Just been updating my CV again.

When I say update, I mean entirely fake rewrite so that it looks like it’s more of a fit for a job spec I received on Friday. Curiously, after seeing the vacancy on the job boards, I saw it again this morning via a different recruitment agency but with an entirely different salary range. I know it’s the same job because it’s exactly the same wording but the salaries offered are totally different. Which just goes to show that recruitment agencies are lying bastards.

Speaking of lying bastards, that Gordon Brown - what a cunning stunt!¹ I swear to god that last years budget shafted everyone. I’m sure there’s a small percentile of the populace who are going to be better off at the new income tax and NI changes but fuck me - what he giveth with one hand, he taketh away with the other. Then again, this comes after a weekend of going through my company accounts, setting up payroll schemes, working out expense claims, taxable income and figuring out how much I can get away with while screwing the bastards at HMRC calculating what is the minimum contract rate/permanent salary I need to be able to maintain a house full of starving hatchlings.

Who’d want to be an accountant (asks the software developer!)

¹This may or may not be a spoonerism