Closely related to sharks, the Manta ray (Manta Birostris) is the largest of the ray family, averaging 22 feet wide (6.7m). Mantas are found mostly in tropical seas and can be found worldwide. They are harmless to humans and feed on plankton, small fish and tiny crustaceans which are funneled into their mouth while they swim.
You know how when you order goods from online companies that the great companies will keep you updated of every move they make (receieved order, processing order, packing order, posting order, shipping order and link to order tracking) and the crap ones will simply send you an email along the lines of “You’ve ordered stuff from us and it cost a lot!”? Well, I’d like to recommend CD Baby to you.
You won’t be able to buy any of your corporate sell out boy band crap because they specialize in independent music only. Which makes a change. And it’s not especially cheap either - between $15 - $20+ (incl p&p) for a cd. So why do I recommend them? Because of the emails they send out to confirm your order. I quote:
Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure it was in the best possible condition before mailing.
Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.
We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved ‘Bon Voyage!’ to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, Friday, August 22nd.
I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did. Your picture is on our wall as ‘Customer of the Year’. We’re all exhausted but can’t wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!
This sort of light hearted commercial attitude brings cheer to my soul. Good on you, CD Baby. You deserve all the custom you get.
I’ve just watched Chicago. I will confess to enjoying the stage show which I saw when Denise Van Outen played Roxie Hart a couple of years ago. Don’t blame me - there were an awful lot of scantily clad women in the chorus. What can you do?
I don’t know why the film got so many Oscars this year. It was fun, entertaining and did the musical a lot of justice. But it wasn’t that good. Moments were great, but never outstanding. If anything, it tried to be the stage musical too much. It would have been far more clever if they’d incorporated the songs into the story a la Bugsy Malone or similar. But then again, maybe the songs don’t lend themselves to it.
I think I’m holding the fact that the film won all the Oscars this year against it. I shouldn’t - it’s an entertaining film, very satirical, very sexy and funny in parts. Catherine Zeta-Jones is quite hot (but still married to that old wrinkly of hers) and Renee Zellwegger doesn’t suit being that thing. And it’s one of the only films I can watch with the wife.
It was probably a good thing that I’m drunk again, really - I can blame it on that.
Finally the CD I won on eBay arrived. It’s the soundtrack to the Blair Witch Project and I can’t believe such an awful film has such a great soundtrack.
Wait, I hear you cry, there wasn’t any music in the film! Yes, that’s true. The inlay fleshes out the “story” by saying that this was “Josh’s Blair Witch Mix”, a tape found in his car so really it’s music inspired by the film - and it’s all very goth and industrial. We’ve got Lydia Lunch, Skinny Puppy, Front Line Assembly, Type O Negative and The Creatures (Siouxsie Sioux and co). Very haunting, very disturbing.
Fantastic!
Last month I ranted about the plight of the dolphins that were being transported from the Solomon Islands to Mexico to populate the Water theme parks there.
Well today I found an article on a New Zealand news site that updates the situation. Mexican authorities have agreed not to authorise the import of any more dolphins from the Solomon Islands “on scientific grounds”.
This is all due to the great work that the World Society for the Protection of Animals (WSPA), amongst others, is doing. However, it’s far from over as there are still dozens of dolphins being kept in shallow pens off the coast of the Solomons. The WSPA is trying to get authorities to intervene.
I am still shocked and outraged and it occurs to me that this is not enough. But short of flying out there with my diving kit and a pair of cable cutters, I don’t know what to do. Is it worth writing to my local MP do you think? I suppose I should get more information first, rather than relying on just a couple of news stories.
Then again, should I be active in doing something about these dolphins when so many of my fellow humans are suffering around the world?
More than meets the eye? Answers in the usual place!
Back in Janurary I was at Disneyworld and spent an evening in the Magic Kingdom theme park. I ended up having a ride on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride and was throughly disappointed. Apart from the chickens. I loved the chickens.
So, pretty much along with the rest of the world, I was a little suspicous when I heard they were doing a film of based on the ride. However, the creative team behind it had commendable CVs and there have been plenty of good reviews, so I left my preconceptions at home and took my open mind to go and see it.
I’m glad I did. It was fantastic! So much so that I don’t know where to begin.
A brief synopsis of the story: it’s about pirates. There’s soldiers, ships, hidden treasure, a curse, walking the plank, sea battles, parrots, monkeys, beautiful women, swordfights, rum and desert islands. And it’s in the Caribbean. You don’t need to know much more than that.
Johnny Depp steals the show with a tour de force performance as the effete Jack Sparrow (sorry, Captain Jack Sparrow). Dressed like he doesn’t know if he’s a New Romantic or Adam Ant, Depp camps up this role so much so that he makes Graham Norton seem positively butch. He’s fantastic and it’s one of the funniest performances I’ve seen in a long time.
Orlando Bloom as the lowly blacksmith, Will Turner is reminiscent of a young Errol Flynn. All but shedding the girly look of a certain elf, he is every bit the swashbuckling hero and worthy suitor of the gourgeous Elizabeth Swan, played wonderfully by Kiera Knightly.
Oscar winner Geoffrey Rush is marvellous as the black-hearted captain of the Black Pearl, Barbossa. He must have loved playing this role - I’m sure he managed to get every stereotypical pirate phrase into one or other of his speeches - every “arrrr!”, every “me hearties”, every “you scarbarous sea dog” going.
And that’s the beauty of this film - it knows its subject and has its tongue firmly in its cheek. Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio, the writers behind Shrek and The Mask of Zorro (and also Godzilla, but before you judge them, go and read their side of the story on their website) have written a tremendously funny script that must have been an absolute delight to read and a hoot to play. It absolutely revels in every glorious cliche of the genre. Whats more, with the exception of the two young leads, no-one takes it seriously. This works well. It’s as if Depp and Rush, the experienced salty sea dogs, know that they can simply do it their way leaving the young lovers to do their damndest to remain earnest.
The film isn’t without it’s flaws. The direction is a bit lacking in places and the swordfights aren’t the best ever committed to cellouloid. I also found the music frustrating. It’s not that it’s out of place for the most part, but it sounds like it should have been a Michael Bay film (not surprising as the composer also did the music for Pearl Harbour) and I was half expecting a slo-mo tracking shot at any moment. But at the end of the day, the film is, appropriately, a ride and there’s plenty to entertain. Action, humour, cracking one liners and Johnny Depp being so gay he should have been in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert.
And there wasn’t a chicken in sight!
(Incidentally, one thing I noticed on the ride in Disneyworld - there wasn’t a single coloured person portrayed. And I thought it was meant to be in the Caribbean!)
I have totally lost the plot this week and haven’t really been blogging like I mean it. Actually, I haven’t really been living like I mean it - just doing that whole bleary eyed, fading at the edges, getting through the day thing that we all love and know. I can’t even be arsed to read the papers.
But I have been amused by some of the headlines in the Irish Independent this week:
And for my next trick…
Police are investigating reports that a man bit the head off a kitten at a barbecue in South Wales, in front of a party of horrified children.
Is it wrong to say that I find this very funny? Not the actual act - I love cats but couldn’t eat a whole one and miss having one of my own. But the situation is just so bizarre! I think I must be quite disturbed!
It’s a little bit fishy
A Cambodian student choked to death after a small fish he had just caught jumped out of the basket and into his mouth.
Perhaps it was the Joe Pesci of fish? “You wanna eat me? Do you wanna eat me? Do you think I’m tasty, is that what think? Would you like to cover me with ketchup and fries and eat me? You little punk! That’s it - eat this!”
Take two bottles into the shower?
German police detained a man after he was caught trying to have a shower while naked (well, duh!) in a car wash.
What was he thinking? “Must get the car washed. Oh, that reminds me…!” I wonder if he went for the full service with hot wax spray?
BigBadBabyPigSqueal
And finally this. A former policeman in Norway has been fined for having sex with a pig (and we’re not talking the 10-pint variety here!).
It’s the actions of the farmer that I find amusing in this story. He sees a man in a pig sty fondling the pigs. What’s the first thing he did? He ran and fetched his camera! I mean really - would that be the first thing you’d do? Seriously? Would it be
Then, when the man starts getting jiggy with the piggy, the farmer said “He pulled down his briefs and started doing what I didn’t think was possible!” The little liar - I bet he’d given it plenty of thought. Especially with those extra long, dark, cold Norwegian nights!
“I wanna hear ya squeal like a pig…!”
Finally got around to doing the last of the weekends video reviews and also have a film review for later on. Which is nice. Can’t believe I’ve been watching so much. Also can’t believe that I’ve been enjoying it all either! Must be something in the water. Or the fact that I’m going on holiday in 9 days. Anyway, here ya go…
Produced by James Cameron and directed by Steven Soderburgh, this also is a remake of Andrei Tarkovsky’s 1970 original film of Stansilaw Lem’s novel. The story, in a nutshell, is of Chris Kelvin (George Clooney), a psychiatrist, who is asked to join some scientists on a space station orbting the planet (or star - it’s never quite clear) Solaris to help explain some mysterious events.
I can’t really do this film any justice in this review as I think I need to see the film several times more. If you’re expecting The Matrix or Alien or any of the blockbuster hi-concept, low brow affairs that normally grace our cinema screens, steer well clear. This is a challenging, intelligent film that raises a lot of questions and provokes a lot of thought.
I suspect that George Clooney is going to be the Sean Connery of his time. He seems to play all his characters the same. Don’t get me wrong - this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. He’s very charismatic and very watchable (and, ladies, he seems to spend most of this film with his arse out!) but you do get the impression that he won’t play it any other way. He does well in this role and is convincing as the haunted, dreaming Dr Kalvin.
It’s a beautiful film. It’s visually graceful and poetic. The use of colour, the framing, the movement of the camera is all so striking. Yet despite the amount of detail in this film, in some ways its very minimalist. There only four main characters and of those, we only spend a great deal of time with two. There is very little music. Most of the sound is ambient. The camera tends to linger in a very Kubrickian fashion on its subject and it dispenses with multitudinous cuts. This gave it a very unreal quality - not because it was anything unique or original but because it was different, unfamiliar.
The film itself touches on many themes - memory, death and loss, being, the nature of god, identity. This is why it’s hard to get beneath the surface with just one viewing and why I can’t really review it properly. It’s a fascinating film and appealing in a mysterious, haunting way.
There are few things in life I fear more than American remakes of classic films. They are almost unreservedly bad and totally betray the original source material. (I specify American because I’m also thinking of American versions of foreign films. Including British. “Get Carter” anyone?) I’d heard good things about The Ring though so despite loving the original Japanese version, Ringu, I thought I’d give it a go.
I was very pleasantly surprised.
Directed by Gore Verbinski (who, trivia fans, is responsible for the creation of the Budweiser frogs) pays homage to Hideo Nakata’s original and, while not a shot for shot remake, tells virtually the same story which is itself the stuff urban legends are made of. It centres on a video tape. Anyone who watches the video tape will die after seven days. Straightforward and simple.
The first thing I want to talk about is the cinematography. There are some wonderfully lit and fabulously shot scenes in this film. The use of colour and texture pervades the film, really bringing it to life. We’re not talking Bertolucci here by any means, but I found it quite striking and felt it was used to very good effect.
The acting is good. Naomi Watts is convincing as Rachel Keller, the reporter investigating the death of her niece and the background to the mysterious video tape. She brings a human touch to the film that is above and beyond the hysterical screaming you’ll get in other horror films. She is a protective mother, a loving sister and a strong willed human being who has the same vulnerabilities as the rest of us. David Dorfman is delightful as her son although it seems he’s attended the Haley Joel Osment school of acting, whispering his dialogue throughout the film.
Verbinksi’s direction is strong. Early on he makes use of traditonal genre staple shots used in a 1001 low budget horror flicks to tease us before moving on to telling the story and getting us involved.
The Ring is a good film. I might even go so far to say that it improves on the original film (not having read Koji Suzuki’s novel, I don’t know if it’s a good film of the book) Despite working from the same template, the script has been tightened up and the fat trimmed off. It’s a creepy, unnerving film that has a lot of nightmarish images and I think will definitely make you feel uncomfortable if you watch it late at night, by yourself. (DVD owners beware. Apparently there is a hidden Easter Egg on the disk which will show you the whole of the video that the victims in the film watch. Watch it if you dare…)
If the idea behind making this film was to bring a great japanese horror film to the attention of the mass market who wouldn’t ever consider sitting down to watch something with subtitles, then this is a good example of how to do it. An enjoyable, creepy delight with great visuals and convincing acting.