Preparation time: 6 weeks.
Ingredients:
1 Sunny September day
20+ Housewarming guests
2 bottles of wine (or equivalent in beer) per guest
Assorted barbecue food
1 Karaoke Machine
1500 Classic Karaoke Tunes.
Instructions:
1. Send out invitations to guests. Leave to stand for four weeks before checking for replies. Send out more invitations if required. Leave for another two weeks. (For best results, make sure you select a good mix of singing divas and tone-deaf friends)
2. On the day, tidy house, prepare barbecue, fill buckets with water and ice to provide cooling for beverages.
3. Be stunned by the fact that the karaoke machine you hired is a professional kit that requires a degree in electrical engineering to assemble.
4. Depending on how you prepared your invitation, the first guests will be ready to serve from midday.
5. Add generous amounts of alcohol.
6. After adding the barbecue to the guests, blend with more alcohol.
7. When your guests are suitably marinaded, start the karaoke. (If you are unsure as to whether your guests are marinaded enough for the karaoke, test by suggesting they sing. If they prove resistant, add more alcohol.)
8. Leave to bubble for several hours, adding more alcohol if required.
Upsets: 1 – 30 neighbours depending on volume.
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