I opened the door to the kitchen and on the table was a new tea towel, lying next to a handwritten note from my mother-in-law saying “A welcome home present from Dorset”.

On the doormat was a letter from South Wales Police saying “A welcome home present from the M4 near Cardiff where you were caught on candid speed camera doing 86mph in a 70mph zone.” I remember exactly where I saw the camera van and said to the missus “I’ve just been caught speeding” as we whizzed past so it’s a fair cop, gov.

Anyway, despite the dubious welcome home presents, I had a very relaxing holiday (after a fashion) and there was much time spent walking the beast dog, sleeping, eating, drinking and generally lazing around. I’ll tell you all about it later when I’ve prepared the slides and the projector.

Right - I’m off to do a 5 mile cross country run. Laters!