No, not Virgin mates - although they’re quite handy at times - I mean mate mates. Bestest mates and all that.

I got home tonight to find an unexpected gift from a mate in Leeds who had seen a DVD he thought I might like, bought it and sent it to me. What a great mate!

Admittedly, it does smell of wee.1

1No, seriously! You see, the missus went out for a swim and while she was out, the dog did a widdle in the hall.

In front of the letter box.

And then the post was delivered.