Hope the big man in red and white brings you what you want.

As for me, I’ve just asked for sleep!

Male, 8lbs 11oz, 9:48am.

Mother exhausted but fine. Baby is healthy and hungry, despite being two weeks early. Father is going down the pub.

Today I witnessed one of lifes little miracles and can now understand why people are so wowed by the experience.

I was going to write a missive about Star Wars pre-history and Stalinist revisionism but it looks like my wife may have gone into labour so it’ll have to wait.

I am sorely tempted to try out a new MMOG but get quickly irritated with having to share my fantasy world with 11 year old uber l337 gamz0rs trying to duel me at ever oppurtunity. What they need is an adults only game - perhaps a little like Sociolotron.

This game, which is set in the fantasy world of, um, London, allows the player characters to virtually flirt and have sex with each other, partake in extreme fetishistic practices, assassinate whomsoever they please and generally be as politically incorrect as they dare imagine. Oh, and if you’re bored of all that, you can go hunting monsters a la World Of Warcraft, EQ and all that.

The only problem I can forsee with this adults only game is that it’s going to be full of kids!

Contrary to popular belief, the definition of irony as listed in dictionary.com is not made of iron but is actually this:

Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs

. (Okay, so there are other definitions too but they’re mainly to do with irony being a synonym for sarcasm and still nothing to do with metallurgy.)

The reason I raise this is that there have been asked in a couple of comments* why I am stalking Simon Pegg. Well, let me explain:

I’m not.

I like Simon Pegg - or rather his work and have been a fan of his since he first appeared in “Is It Bill Bailey?” on BBC2 way back in the halcyon days of 1998, the same year as Big Train and the year before the first appearance of the marvellous sitcom, Spaced. He’s a geeks geek and a funny one to boot. I thought Shaun of the Dead was fantastic (as reported on this site a year or so ago but that’s lost in the archives) and am looking forward to his next collaboration with Edgar Wright.

But I am not, have not been and will remain not to be his stalker. I don’t even know where he lives (well, apart from North London but that’s common knowledge and anyway, it’s a big place and I don’t like to go north of the river). The nearest I’ve ever got to meeting him was when a friend and I went to a recording of Little Britain a few years ago (when it was still on the wireless) and he and Nick Frost were in the back row laughing their heads off. My mate took a piss in the urinal next to the one Pegg was using but really, that’s the closest I’ve got to stalking him and I really don’t think that stalking by proxy is an offense that’s likely to get me served with a restraining order.

Now, as disappointing as it may be that I’m not an actual, real life, maniacal and rabid stalker, and seeing as I’ve never really been into hero worship of any sort, you won’t find any pictures or details about Mr Pegg on this site. Nor will you unless it’s a discussion or review of one of his programs or is an interesting bit of news that I feel I should share. Because this is not a fan site worshipping the creative genius Simon Pegg or marvelling over how, if I were female, I would have his offspring. The only person who is allowed to be worshipped around here is me! (Hey, I said I wasn’t a maniacal stalker - I didn’t say I was a maniacal, narcissistic, self obssessor with delusions of grandeur!)

But the site’s called “Simon Pegg’s Stalker”!**

Yes, yes it is.

Ironic isn’t it.

*Both of which are linked to the post on April 1st that contained the rather, er, explicit picture of a slight injury I picked up about this time last year. Don’t know whether it’s coincedence or whether somewhere out there there is small cult developing around the evil mechnical finger and that perhaps I am unwittingly becoming a very minor internet celeb. I think it’s probably a coincedence.

**But possibly not for much longer as I don’t feel I’m doing any real justice to this name. I’m thinking “Shark Bait” at the moment.

I’m bored of stalking Simon Pegg. It never really quite turned into what I thought it might. I feel I need to ‘re-imagine’ myself. Basically I’m thinking of redesigning the site (possibly this evening during a tedious 3 hour conference call with the US) and changing the name again. Of course, I’ll need to change my nickname/handle/nom du plume de ma tante and that’s going to upset everyone but there we go.

Subject matter won’t change though. It’ll still be focussing on the more trivial aspects of life except for the odd rant here and there. Politics? Not for me, thanks, I’m stuffed. Just pass me a waffer thin meent!

I just bought one of these.

Seemed like a good idea at the time. Except I’ve no idea how I’m going to afford to by my flatscreen, HD ready, 42″ plasma TV now.

Ho hum.

The title song on Neubauten’s last album, Perpetuum Mobile, was inspired by the copious amounts of travelling that the band did and the lyrics intriguingly describe a life spent away from home, wandering through international airports and hanging around in the queue at customs.

This morning, the song happened to be playing as I was descending with the masses into the bowels of the underground. I had never been fully aware of the rhythm of the horde of zombies who shuffle their way through the corridors, past the ticket machines, down the escalators and along the platforms every morning on their daily commute to work. And neither seeing the band play PM live, nor listening to it in situ at home, had I truly appreciated how well the song captures that rhythm until this morning.

It’s a beautiful thing.