Contrary to popular belief, the definition of irony as listed in dictionary.com is not made of iron but is actually this:

Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs

. (Okay, so there are other definitions too but they’re mainly to do with irony being a synonym for sarcasm and still nothing to do with metallurgy.)

The reason I raise this is that there have been asked in a couple of comments* why I am stalking Simon Pegg. Well, let me explain:

I’m not.

I like Simon Pegg - or rather his work and have been a fan of his since he first appeared in “Is It Bill Bailey?” on BBC2 way back in the halcyon days of 1998, the same year as Big Train and the year before the first appearance of the marvellous sitcom, Spaced. He’s a geeks geek and a funny one to boot. I thought Shaun of the Dead was fantastic (as reported on this site a year or so ago but that’s lost in the archives) and am looking forward to his next collaboration with Edgar Wright.

But I am not, have not been and will remain not to be his stalker. I don’t even know where he lives (well, apart from North London but that’s common knowledge and anyway, it’s a big place and I don’t like to go north of the river). The nearest I’ve ever got to meeting him was when a friend and I went to a recording of Little Britain a few years ago (when it was still on the wireless) and he and Nick Frost were in the back row laughing their heads off. My mate took a piss in the urinal next to the one Pegg was using but really, that’s the closest I’ve got to stalking him and I really don’t think that stalking by proxy is an offense that’s likely to get me served with a restraining order.

Now, as disappointing as it may be that I’m not an actual, real life, maniacal and rabid stalker, and seeing as I’ve never really been into hero worship of any sort, you won’t find any pictures or details about Mr Pegg on this site. Nor will you unless it’s a discussion or review of one of his programs or is an interesting bit of news that I feel I should share. Because this is not a fan site worshipping the creative genius Simon Pegg or marvelling over how, if I were female, I would have his offspring. The only person who is allowed to be worshipped around here is me! (Hey, I said I wasn’t a maniacal stalker - I didn’t say I was a maniacal, narcissistic, self obssessor with delusions of grandeur!)

But the site’s called “Simon Pegg’s Stalker”!**

Yes, yes it is.

Ironic isn’t it.

*Both of which are linked to the post on April 1st that contained the rather, er, explicit picture of a slight injury I picked up about this time last year. Don’t know whether it’s coincedence or whether somewhere out there there is small cult developing around the evil mechnical finger and that perhaps I am unwittingly becoming a very minor internet celeb. I think it’s probably a coincedence.

**But possibly not for much longer as I don’t feel I’m doing any real justice to this name. I’m thinking “Shark Bait” at the moment.