I’ve bought it - have you?**

Mike and the gang have gone all out over the last seven days to put this collection of humourous*** stories together just for you, yes you so I hope you appreciate it. You know how you can show your appreciation? By buying it, that’s how. And laughing at it. Okay, that second part is optional but the important part is this:

BUY THE GOD DAMN BOOK!

The money is going to A Good Cause(tm) and Lulu, the company who have agreed to publish it and make it available have agreed to donate all profit they make from the sale of it to the same Good Cause. And that Good Cause, if you haven’t worked it out (which is fine, you can take all the time in the world because we don’t discriminate against slow-ass bastards like you) is Comic Relief, raising money for, well good causes.

So buy it, keep it in the toilet, use the pages to wipe your bum or perhaps line the cat litter tray with. Let’s face it, you probably won’t read it but at least if you’ve bought it you can pretend you have and smile knowledgably and say “But of course, Richard Herring was much better when he was writing as Belle De Jour.” I mean, it’s a charity book innit. It’s just the blog world’s equivalent of a village community filling a tin bath up with cans of Netto’s own brand baked beans and getting some poor eleven year old kid to sit in it wearing nothing but his swimming trunks and smile while he’s freezing his ‘nads off in a bleary, overcast “Is that rain? I think it’s raining! Oh perhaps it’s just drizzle. Do you think we need an umbrella?” bank holiday fair. You smile, offer meaningless compliments and drop the small change from your pocket into the bucket that the boys 6 year old sister is holding but making sure that you keep just enough back to buy a slice of the dry carrot cake from the WI home baking stall. It’s a bit rubbish but it’s for a Good Cause.

So look. Don’t let Mike and all the other contributors efforts go to waste. Remember, they’ve been doing the equivalent of sitting outside in a tub of cheap baked beans for the last week just to raise money for some dubious, celebrity charity event. They’ve suffered just so you can smile, say “How nice” and give them any small change you’ve got.

You can give them that small change by going to www.shaggyblogstories.co.uk and pressing the “Add to Cart” button and then paying for it. It’s easy - you can even do it through PayPal. It won’t take more than a couple of minutes, even if you’ve got to register.

BUY IT! BUY IT NOW!

That is all.

*A donation of £2 to Comic Relief if you can guess the film the quote is from before 7pm GMT.
** No, really I have. I can show you the receipt and everything. Don’t just say you’ve bought it to be part of the gang. And don’t not buy it if you submitted a post that didn’t get included either. You’re not funny. They’re not funny either but you’re even less funny. Live with it.
*** It’d better be fucking humourous or I want my money back.