With all the brouhaha surrounding Gordon Ramsey not catching fish and Bear Grylls not sleeping under stars, I still can’t understand how the red tops get away with irresponsible and misleading “journalism”. There’s recently been alleged reports that a Great White Shark was spotted off the Cornish coast and The Sun had blurry footage recorded by some holiday maker of said shark leaping out of the water after a pod of dolphins.

This, of course, sent that particular rag into a feeding frenzy of mockups and spotters guide and the usual rubbish that you expect. What tipped me over the edge, however, was their helpful spotters guide to the “Worlds deadliest sharks”. The Great White, of course, was top of the page. I’m just surprised they didn’t do a comparison image to show how it dwarfed a double decker bus or even St Paul’s Cathedral. It also features the Tiger shark, which is a very aggresive shark and will have a go at just about anything, the Bull Shark, which is also very territorial and aggressive, and the Mako (shortfin in this case) which is large but less aggressive and rarely, if ever, attacks humans.

However, there are two other sharks on that diagram - the Nurse Shark and the Sandtiger or, to give it the more common European name, the Grey Nurse Shark. If you look at the diagram, the Nurse shark looks to be as long as a Tiger and nearly as long as a Great White (the largest ever found being 6.4m in length). The average size of the Nurse is half that - anywhere between 2.5 - 3m (maximum of about 4m). They are dangerous to humans in the same way that dogs are - if you piss it off or provoke it then it’ll bite you. Which, if you ask me, is fair enough. Most of the time, especially during the day, they can be found in shallow waters resting on the bottom doing nothing except sleeping. At night they hunt and they can be dangerous and you should be careful - especially if you happen to be a crab or lobster or even a small fish. When I learnt to dive in Thailand, we saw a lot of nurse sharks and they did nothing as we swam around them and we even stroked its tail while it lay sleeping. They are beautiful creatures and certainly not one of the deadliest of its species.

The Sandtiger, on the other hand, only averages 2.5 - 2.8m long. The Shark Foundations database entry for the Sandtiger/Grey Nurse Shark lists it’s likely danger to humans as, wait for it, “harmless”. Not even “mostly harmless”, simply “harmless”.

It angers me to see such blatant crap passed off as fact. I know some of it must be tongue in cheek but - and I’m aware of how snobby and patronising this must sound - does the average Sun reader really take everything they read with a pinch of salt (insert appropriate fish and chips gag here) or do they know that some (most) of it is just crap? People decry video games, cartoons and rock music for leading our youth astray but here’s a national newspaper just feeding our nation false facts. And it’s(allegedly) sending a journo out with dive gear and speargun to hunt the supposed Great White which is, if you haven’t been keeping up, as listed as an endangered species.

When I’m ruler of the world, I’m going to have a big pool full of sharks with fricken laser beams attached to their heads and I’m going to feed this fucking lot to them. Of course, the sharks would be Nurse Sharks coz they’re so damned cute but hopefully the laser beams will lacerate, eviscerate and mutilate. Or maybe just burn them badly. I’d even settle for giving them an extremely annoying itch!

It’s the day after Tough Guy Nettle Warrior. If I didn’t know this because it was in my diary then I’d know it by looking at the amount of search results that have hit this site over the course of the day. Most of them are looking for pictures or for information about the event. One was looking for Savlon Nettle gel (to whom I shall say only this: deal with it. Nettle stings are nothing compared to the pain and suffering of existence. Or something similarly zen. )

I didn’t do TG this year - first time in four that I haven’t. There’s no particular reason other than I didn’t get off my arse in time to enter. I do intend to do at least one of the events next year though (and that’s likely to be the January Tough Guy as it’s the one that I feel I haven’t properly conquered yet.)

Anyway, to all those who visit this site looking for info about yesterday’s event, I’m afraid there isn’t much here. I hope it went well for you and I hope you’re still buzzing from the experience. If you want to share how it went, feel free to leave a comment.

Just the other day I was surprised to find that Ingmar Bergman was still alive. He more or less retired from making films more or less about 25 years ago, Fanny and Alexander being the last major film he directed (with the exception of some direct to TV films). It struck me as a shame that a man who gave us such classics as The Seventh Seal and Wild Strawberries had not made any films for so long, especially considering how wonderful his films and screenplays are. I’m sure he would have had a few things to say about the way the world has changed over the last quarter of a century. As an aside, both of those films are 50 years old this year - hence why there’s been interviews with the great man and retrospectives of his work as well as new releases of both masterpieces.

According to current news reports, it would appear that Bergman died this morning. No doubt he’s off challenging Death to a game of chess somewhere.

I think that DVD Spot, a site where you can keep a record of all DVDs that you own/have watched/have lent out/want to buy or plan to watch, is going to be a site I spend altogether too much time on. I’ve only added a few titles to my “Owned” list and realise that I possess nowhere near the 6000+ that the top geek on the site owns but I’m working on it.

Username is DraconianOne for anybody who wants to criticize or congratulate. (Should I reiterate that the list is currently nowhere near complete yet?)

The latest film to be garnering strong interest is known only as Cloverfield. Or Slusho. Or 1-18-08. The reason for this buzz is because of an untitled trailer (which you can see in glorious quicktime here) that appeared before the US release of Transformers.

The trailer shows a leaving party for a fella called Rob which is interrupted by an unearthly noise and what appears to be a slight earth tremor. Moments later, everyone is in the street watching a huge explosion and then running away as a huge projectile flies through the air, demolishing buildings and is then revealed to be the head of the Statue of Liberty. Oh my! Giant monster ahoy! More excitement about the project stems from the fact that J J Abrams, creator of Lost, is attached as producer. Yes, because everything he touches turns to gold - witness “Alias” and “Mission Impossible: III”. Oh, and it should be mentioned that the footage in the trailer is entirely shot from the POV of a person holding a video camera, which, allegedly, is how the whole film is going to be shot.

The trailer isn’t bad at all and snarking aside, it does the job and gets people enticed. Not to mention the fact that there are already clues scattered around the internet in a grand marketing scheme to build up the antici…..pation for this relatively modestly budgeted film. Hell, it’s worked. Do a technorati search and you’ll see a spawn of sites and blogs all about the film (and more in relation to a chappie called Ethan Haas which was viral marketing for an entirely different project, one called Alpha and Omega, a game by Mindstorm Labs who are probably creaming themselves with the free publicity they’re getting). Even Gordon blogged about it (and provoked an entirely unrelated discussion that extended to over 30 comments). And yes, the trailer has got me interested. But it’s an interest that’s dubious about the film.

You see, the idea of a monster in Manhattan is one that I can buy. The idea of the film being told from the point of view of people just trying to survive I can buy. What’s not doing it for me right now is the idea that the film will be told entirely using video cameras as if it were people documenting the event. You see, the idea that a normal person would be able to keep the camera rolling while all around there was disaster and destruction and a giant monster had just risen from the depths intent on devouring anything in its way is just stupid. Anyone who does that deserves to get eaten immediately. Remember the footage from the collapse of the Twin Towers? People filmed what was happening and that was one thing but as soon as the towers collapsed and the wall of dust and debris came hurtling towards them, the filming stopped and they legged it. That’s what happens.

Of course, I could be wrong and I hope this is the case. I hope that if the film is told this way then it’s told properly and that people behave like they should behave. I hope that we get to see very little of the monster and only the effects of its presence. I hope we see ordinary peoples reactions to extraordinary events (a little like the promising but ultimately disappointing Signs). I just think that in this case, more conventional cinematic means would be preferential.

Then again, perhaps I’m stills scarred by the atrocious and overhyped monstrosity that was The Blair Witch Project. We’ll find out in January.

I twittered while I walked. This is how it happened:

Sat 14th July 08:06 - And so it begins. 100km to go!
Sat 14th July 12:47 - Chicken wraps for lunch at checkpoint 2. Lovely.
Sat 14th July 20:33 - Half way. Welcome supper of bean casserole. 50km to go
Sun 15th July 00:27 - Just left checkpoint 6 heading to devil’s dyke.
Sun 15th July 04:22 - Dawn. Finally!
Sun 15th July 08:58 - A little over 10km to go
Sun 15th July 10:11 - Bacon butties for breakfast. Yum! Last leg started
Sun 15th July 11:55 - Last hill before the finish. My legs hurt.
Sun 15th July 12:34 - 99km down, one to go!

That’s how long it took my team to walk the 100km of the Oxfam Trailwalker this weekend.

We set out from Queen Elizabeth Country Park near Petersfield in Hampshire at 8am on Saturday night and walked along the South Downs Way for a day and a night and arrived at Brighton race course just before 1pm on Sunday.

A big thank you to both of the those (cheers Lyle!) people who sponsored me - one of the things that kept me going in the lull before dawn was not wanting to have to explain to you why I couldn’t finish. If you want the gory (but remarkably blister free) details, I’m sure I’ll feel like writing them up when the memories start to blur at the edges.

If I never see a pot of Vaseline again, it will be too soon!

On saturday, I will be endeavouring to walk 100km (about 62 miles) in under 30 hours.

After my training walk last week, 30 miles (near as damn it) in the rain, the dark and the cold, I realised how hard it’s likely to be next weekend. To be honest, I’m not 100% certain I’m going to finish it although if I quit, it will be because I absolutely cannot go on. Fortunately, I have the money I’ve raised from sponsorship to give me added incentive to finish because now I have people I can’t let down. If I don’t finish, I don’t get the money - it’s that simple.

All the donations will primarily will go to the Ghurka Welfare Trust. The event itself was started in pre-handover Hong Kong by the Ghurka regiment stationed there and was such a success that rather than stop running it, they got together with Oxfam and started holding it across the world. They’re both good causes. You can read more about them and the event here.

If you’d like to sponsor me to walk the equivalent of nearly two and a half marathons along the South Downs way (and give me that huge incentive to walk, crawl and drag myself over the finish line) then you can do so online via my bMyCharity page.

What follows now is some musings on why I don’t expect to get a lot of sponsorship.

(more…)

Aquaasho is in Cauterets (which only sounds like a medical condition affecting the eyes) in France this weekend, running for Ireland in the European Mountain Running Championships. Here’s wishing her the best of luck!

Last week, the Guardian did a series called “1000 films to watch before you die”. They’ve now published the list on their website (although rather than give you a useful tick list or spreadsheet or whatever, they’ve divided it up alphabetically on different pages). The list was come up with by, well, actually, I don’t know who came up with it - whether they’re critics or film experts or not - but they write for the guardian so it’s safe to say that the list is going to be controversial. For example, it includes “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective” and “American Pie” which, while both amusing in a facile kind of way, would hardly be what I would consider classics.

There also doesn’t seem to be any restriction on what counts as a movie and the list contains some documentary features too. It’s also quite up to date and features at least one 2007 release (”Hot Fuzz”) and a couple of 2006 releases (including “Borat”). Anyone who’s been reading this blog for a while will know that every year I attempt to watch the current top 100 movies that feature on IMDB (although I am still yet to manage it) so I’m always up for lists of films and ticking off the ones I’ve seen.

So, as a first, rough and probably slightly conservative pass, I’ve seen 329 of the 1000 films listed by the Guardian. There are some notable exceptions to that - I’ve never seen Grease (well, actually, I probably have but never in one sitting) and I’ve never seen Singin’ In The Rain or Saturday Night Fever because I tend to avoid musicals and similar (yes, I know Travolta’s classic isn’t a musical!). I currently own the DVDs of Battleship Potemkin, On The Waterfront, Barry Lyndon and a few others but haven’t yet got around to watching them. Some films I think I may have seen but can’t remember so haven’t included - others, like Zulu, Silent Running and Out of Sight (a film I’ve tried to watch on several occasions but have never quite managed to so far) I’ve seen most of but not all (or, if I have, I can’t remember) so they haven’t been included either.

It would be interesting to compare this list to the top 1000 over at IMDB (which is an average of ratings by members of the site and is probably more representative of a good list than a few select people choosing films they rate for the newspaper they work for). This does, at least, give me a good starting point for more films to watch although I certainly won’t be attempting to do so before the end of the year!

So, anyone else worked out how many they’ve seen?