Half way through the planned training schedule so what did I do? Took the week off and didn’t run at all. No it wasn’t in the plan but I felt as mobile as a concrete paving slab and was certain that the globule of phlegm stuck in my trachea was a sure sign that I had some fucking shite clogging up my lungs - heavy wheezing going up stairs contributed to the evidence for the prosecution.

As usual, nothing came of it and I feel neither better nor worse and the piece of gunk in my windpipe is still there.

On the plus side, last monday I had my blood pressure and heart rate taken during an induction session in the work gym. My resting heart rate (after four cups of coffee and nerve racking ride through the rain) was 56 bpm which was encouraging and my blood pressure is well within normal limits.

I hate gym inductions. Invariably the person giving the induction has no idea of their audience so I was treated to 30 minutes of “This is a treadmill. You might want to use this to improve your running. This is known as a ‘cardio vascular’ [she actually used finger quotes at this point] or, as we like to call it, ‘CV’ exercise.” and so on. And then there’s the health check questionnaire that we’re required to fill in.

I love these questionnaires because I get to answer yes to everything when they ask if you’ve ever injured any of the following: neck, back, knees, shoulders, ankles. I always get asked what I’ve done and whether I think I’m fit to exercise. So I tell them: ankles are twisted and sprained through rugby, long/triple jump and off-road running, partially dislocated one shoulder playing rugby and the other playing squash, tore the cartilage in my knee doing athletics, my back generally suffers because of the stresses I put on it and my neck has never been the same since I fell head first off my bicycle.

I’ve said it before: sport is bad for you. Gentle exercise can help the blood flow, improve lung capacity, strengthen bones, prolong life yada yada yada but there comes a point when the intensity of exercise and the demands sportspeople make on their bodies becomes dangerous. It’s an occupational hazard; deal with it.

Anyway, I can use the gym now so yay.