I’ve been meme-bombed by Jon and Elinor to tell you 5 (five) things about me that I’m proud of but that others would consider lame. I’ve been struggling over this because I don’t know how to answer it. I’m most definitely not proud of a lot of the lame things I’ve done and most of the other stuff I’ve either blogged about already (which is no reason not to again) and I’ve no idea whether it would be percieved as lame anyway. Apart from anything, I find that if I hang around with people who think lame things are cool, I never do anything which is lame. Anyway, here it is:

1. Star Wars. In relative terms, I’m not actually a raving mad Star Wars geek - something I’m very grateful that the invention of the Internet has proved - but that doesn’t excuse a litany of Star Wars related geekery that I’m secretly proud of. Let’s see: a) aged 9, I traded a Madness album for a Star Wars soundtrack album. b) aged 10, I had a letter published in issue 13 of Return of the Jedi comic. c) also aged 10, my Star Wars geekdom got me mentioned on local radio d) in 1996/7, I dared to posit a theory in the Compuserve SF/Lit Star Wars forums that stormtrooper were actuallsy clones and got hounded out of the forum because I obviously didn’t know what the fuck I was talking about. Who’s laughing now, bitches?

2. I have an A-level in Ancient Greek and a degree in Philosophy. I know people think this is lame because they keeping asking me “Why?” with no uncertain amount of incredulity in their voices. My philosophically trained, razor sharp, inciteful response is always “why not?”

3. I (used to) love The Rocky Horror Picture Show after seeing it for the first time aged 11 or 12. (My parents, who encouraged me to watch it way beck when, have a lot to answer for). I’ve been to see the live show a couple of times (although I have never dressed up, much to the chagrin of my friends and colleagues). The second time I went to see it, I fully engaged in audience participation - by myself. When Brad and Janet first go to the castle, they are met by Riff-Raff who says to them, “I think you’d better both…(long pause) come inside.” As soon as he’d said “I think you’d better both…”, I immediately shouted out “Fuck off!” It brought the house down and even the actors on stage ended up visibly laughing. Riff-Raff recovered well first - he followed up with “But first, come inside!” I will admit, I was actually mortified I’d done it but, you know, all things considered, it was kewl.

4. When I proposed to my wife, I opened with the line “I’m not sure I want you as my girlfriend anymore.” Predictably (and as intentioned), she thought I was dumping her rather than about to ask her to marry me. I don’t know if this is so much lame as it is undeniably cruel.

5. I played so much of the arcade video game Mortal Kombat 2 while at university that I used to know all the special moves and finishing moves of every character. I could stick a pound coin in the machine and spend an hour playing until I’d finished the game (and defeated all the hidden characters too). On a saturday night, I’d occassionally end up with a crowd gathered around watching me play. My then-girlfriend used to think that it was an incredibly lame thing to do but this never stopped her proudly (and more than a little drunkenly) claiming me as her S.O. in front of all these people. MK2 was the main reason I didn’t get a better degree result. Well that and the drink. And the drugs. And probably the girls too.

So there we have it. In retrospect, that was far easier to come up with than I first thought. Ah well.

I don’t normally nominate people to do this but I am this time: Matt, Amber, Gayé and Annie - I choose you!