“Them” has a lot going for it in terms of acting, direction, photography and, above all, sound. It does what it’s trying to do - build a sense of tension and suspense - very well. The use of sound is particularly effective in generating the atmosphere of the piece.

So what it’s about? A French couple move to Romania (she’s a language teacher, see, and he’s a writer). They’ve moved into this big house situated in a remote location outside the town where she works. One night, they have an unexpected, unwelcome and unseen visitor and so begins a terrifying game of hide-and-seek. And that’s it. Seriously, that’s your lot. A couple on the run for the best part of 70+ minutes.

To be honest, that’s the biggest problem with this film - it’s an extended short film. The same story could have been told in 20 minutes or less and absolutely nothing would be lost. There are no subplots, no subtext, no surprises (even, might I add, the reveal at the end which I’d somehow guessed from the prologue sequence - which, I will also add, was essentially a redundant piece of the film in so much that it doesn’t relate in anyway to what happens for the rest of the film, apart from set up the fact that there is an unepected, unwelcome and unseen something lurking around.) and nothing swerving from what essentially is an extended chase sequence.

In a way it’s a little disappointing but then again, the film is the movie equivalent of a pirate ship ride at a theme park. Whereas a rollercoaster might send you left, then right, then upside down, then loop the loop then straight up, through a tunnel and straight back down again, a pirate ship goes forward, then back, then forward, then back ad infinitum (or, in my case, ad nauseam). It doesn’t mean that the ride is any less exciting and doesn’t put your heart in your mouth any less than the rollercoaster will, it’s just that once it starts, there’s little variation and nothing unexpected.

If you want a scare and a quick thrill, then watch this film. The high quality of film-making outweighs any issues with the lack of substance and overall, it is a good film. There’s just not a lot too it.

Oh and in the best Columbo tradition, one more thing: it’s meant to be based on true events but if it is then those true events are so obscure then it evades even my best attempts at google-fu and, frankly, I’m a black belt in that particular discipline. My reckoning is that, like Fargo, it being true is a total load of old bollocks. If I’m wrong then I’d be really interested in learning more about it.