So it’s been a funny old week in that it’s passed quickly and without incident and suddenly I’m a week older with nothing to show for it. Wait - that’s not quite true. I went to see “No Country For Old Men” on Saturday (which brings my tally of films seen in the cinema over last 30 days to 3 which almost equals the number of films I saw on the big screen throughout the preceding 9 months) It’s a fantastic film. Go and see it. Then come back here and we can talk about it.

On the job front, I was due to leave my current contract tomorrow but as of yesterday, have a three week reprieve which is handy because contracts in my line of work have been a bit thin on the ground unless I want to go to Paris. Or Germany. My ability to speak French far surpasses my skills in German (which are non-existent) but still amount to little more than being able to ask “Ou sont les toilettes?” so I failed on the requirement to be able to parlez dans le Francais Businessomatique or something. That being said, it’s looking likely I’ll get an interview for a job with a good rate of pay that my CV is more than a match for. The downside being that it’s at the other end of the country which would entail being away from home in cheap-as-shit accommodation during the week for the best part of the next three months (IF I get the contract!)

The two implications of this are i) I’ll be in a contract away from home over the time that Hatchling #2 arrives and ii) the idea of shooting one of my shorts between now and then has evaporated into nothingness as weekends will, understandably, be devoted to quality family time. Verily doth the cookie crumbleth in this manner. The other implication is that I’ll have plenty of free time in the evenings to write. Or run. Or write and run. Or write while running. Or run then think about writing. Or build some of the websites that I’ve got to work on. Although that requires a laptop (very much like the one I didn’t buy on eBay this time last year) which I won’t be getting until April because of the tax benefits in waiting.

Speaking of short films - Wormwood is highly unlikely to happen just yet, irrespective of whether I’m away or not. The main reason is that I want it to do it as well as I can but feel that I need more practice behind the camera first. The supporting reasons are that it’s quite an involved script and has a lot of elements that will cost (as previously mentioned) in either time, money or resources. It might also take more than a weekend to shoot so will need vast amounts of production and logistical planning. Instead I’m going back to my original original plan (Plan A, revision 7, release candidate 0.93beta) and redrafting a script that only has 3 main characters and 2 siginificant locations. It’ll much easier and cheaper to film and I don’t mind doing it with my own camera.

In other news: The Writer’s Strike still going on although the DGA have come to an agreement with the AMPTP that may or may not bode well for future WGA negotiations. And this just in - Tom Cruise is a total nutter and Jerry “That bloke from Sliders” O’Connell is a very, very funny man. (The linked site is a video site dedicated to comedy videos and was set up by Will Ferrell of all people. With some of his friends. And Judd Apatow. A good way of killing time if you need to. Better than killing someone else. Or yourself.)

I know I promised that I’d do the whole AvP thing before the weekend. What can I say? I’m the Prince of Darkness and my promises mean nothing. You’ll get it, don’t worry and hopefully it will be worth it! Hell, if I manage to actually finish writing out how Predator is a metaphor for a mid-life crisis and infertility then it’ll definitely be worth it.

In the mean time, I’m recovering from having a small operation on my occular implants. I spent most of the mid-morning strapped to a chair with Clockwork Orange style clamps turning my eyelids inside out and a crazed, wild haired doctor* brandishing needles and scalpels in the vicinity of my glazzies. It all seems to be okay and as far as I can tell, the gunk oozing over my cheekbone was neither vitreous or aqueous in it’s composition so that’s alright then.

And finally: I took part in my first race of the year on Sunday - a five mile multi-terrain run around some local woods. Very hilly, very muddy, lots of fun. Managed it in a respectable time for me so am pleased with that, despite feeling like I was going to have coronary failure half way round.

What have you been up to?

*In truth he was a rather charming young doctor, clean shaven and well mannered enough to call me “sir”. More importantly, he had a very steady hand.

I started writing a fucking long-winded, pretentious post examining and dissecting the Alien films when the realisation that it was all a load of guff. What it boils down to is that Aliens are cool and the first two films in the franchise were fantastic. I mean, it’s 1979 and people are still reeling after the runaway success of Star Wars and its aliens, especially the lethal yet lovable Chewbacca when all of a sudden, Ridley Scott and Dan O’Bannon come along with the godking of biomechanical nightmares himself, H.R. Giger, in tow and say “You think that’s cool? Wait till you get a load of this!” and unleash a terrifying vision of extra-terrestial horror on us.
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Although it’s been on release in the States since Christmas Day, this weekend sees the UK release of Aliens vs Predator: Requiem, the sequel to the hit 2004 movie, Alien Vs Predator. Yes, that’s right, the hit movie - despite being slated by both critics and fans, the film made more money relatively in terms of box office takings than any of it’s predecessors, nearly doubling it’s $45m budget in the US alone.

Like the sad geek that I am, I was originally going to watch all 4 Alien films, both Predator films and the first AvP before the weekend but, after multiple discussions about the merits and qualities of both franchises on a few messageboards around the ‘net (none, I hasten to add, being fan sites), I figured it would make more sense for me to spout nonsensically about it all on the only site that counts - this one here.

Then, if you’re really, really lucky, I might even give you a review of the film after I go to see it on Saturday. (It has already been universally panned by most people so I’m not expecting it to good - but as you will find out, it’s not a concept that I think will ever be executed well.)

Wormwood is the title of the horror short that I wrote the first draft of back in, um, September or something. Back then it was called “In the dark of the night” which is actually the title I use for most things that don’t have a title - my feature draft was called that at first too. It’s now time to go back and revisit the first draft, make copious notes and amendments and thrash out a second draft.

Making the film is likely to be tricky. For a start, I have no money (all donations gratefully accepted!). For a second, the script so far is quite ambitious: it so far contains crowd scenes, multiple locations and special effects. Fortunately I wrote the locations as being places I know around where I live which is a good thing but because there are quite a lot, there’s going to be a considerable amount of travelling and the schedule is going to be quite hectic. However, that’s a problem I’ll deal with later on. My main concern is the technology. I’d like this to be fairly good quality but I will obviously be restricted to digital because of cost. I could use my own mini-DV camera but I’d prefer to hire something like a Canon XL-1S (used to shoot 28 Days Later) or even the HD equivalent but there’s that money issue. I’m not that good at blagging to be able to get to use one for free.

The main challenge, however, is the timeline. I want to submit this film to a festival - primarily Frightfest in August, the submission deadline for which is June 1st. That sounds like plenty of time but not when you consider that from middle of April onwards I’m going to be on hatchling duty so my own personal deadline is somewhere around the 13th of that month which means I need to shoot and edit it in March and get the pre-production done in February. Considering I originally planned this for the 2 Days Later “Make a film in 48 hours” competition, this should surely be more than enough time.

Think I’ll be working on the script tonight!

More introspection - it’s the month for it. This one takes the form of some hopes, desires, goals and ambitions for the year forthcoming. It’s more a wishlist than a plan because that way I allow for all the unexpected eventualities and take into consideration that which cannot be predicted. It’s subdivided into headings because that’s always good.

Health

• Lose weight (the same thing we do every year, Pinky!)¹
• Enter (and take part in) at least one half-marathon
• Run a marathon (has to be in the second part of the year if I can find a suitable and affordable one to enter)
• Do another Mountain Marathon (probably the OMM as the LAMM is on the 7/8 June and Hatchling #2 might only be 2 weeks old at that point.)
• Actually get to do the London Rat Race this year! (My entry is already in!)

Work

• Keep work coming in
• Continue to refrain from seriously maiming or terminating imncompetent users/project managers

Film-making

• Get more involved with other film-makers and film-making communities.
• Finish writing scripts for 3 short films
• Write one feature length screenplay
• Direct and complete one short film²
• Get aforementioned film into a festival³

Blog

• Replace the fucking template at long fucking last!
• Um, that’s about it really. Focus more on films, writing and all that but that’s about it.

Personal

• Successfully maintain an allotment and grow stuff that isn’t weeds on it
• Other personal goals to do with family etc.

Nothing there is totally unachievable provided I don’t dither, procrastinate or make excuses. On the other hand, I’m blocking out at least 3 months in the middle of the year (if not 4) and we’re already half way through January so it’s probably time to get cracking!

¹My weight fluctuates wildly. Losing a stone and a half is no problem but keeping it off is a different matter. I’ve lost 6 pounds in the last two weeks just from going back to a sensible diet, exercising and drinking less. By the end of the year, I’ll have packed it all back on again. It’s what I do.
²I have a plan for this already, to be discussed in another post. Typically, it might be overly ambitious.
³The only thing that’s really out of my control - so as long as I finish it and submit it for festivals, that’ll count.

I only have one tattoo. It’s a dragon clutching a shield and embossed on the shield is the futhark rune called Thurisaz, commonly associated with the god Thor (and can be taken to represent Thor’s hammer, Miolnir) although that’s not the reason why I chose it. In script, Thurisaz can be transliterated into two letters that just so happen to be my initials which is kind of convenient but in runecasting and divination, it’s known as the “Gateway” rune.

The gateway is the point where your past behind you and the future ahead of you, the place between “heaven” and the mundane, life and death and the crossing from ignorance to enlightenment. It is a rune of non-action, calling for contemplation of future intentions, consideration of past events and reflection and examination of the external and internal forces at work around you. It can also represent the division between order and chaos and like all good divinatory tools, the interpretations of this are obscure: do you shake off the bonds of order defined by the constraints of your upbringing, your conditioning and the influences bearing on you before escaping into the unpredictable adventure that chaos brings or do you make sense out of the chaos, introduce order, consolidating or severing all of the different forces that are pulling you in different directions?
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Owing to some extreme fuckups on the part of two different broadband providers and, for a change, none on my part, I’ve spent most of the last couple of weeks without any ‘net connect. Hence the radio silence. But I’m away at a very nice hotel spending some quality time with the S.O. and they happen to have wireless connection so I’m making the most of it for now.

So Happy New Year and I hope your resolutions are, indeed, quantifiable, measurable and achievable. I haven’t worked what out what mine are yet, apart from a) losing 1.5-ish stone in weight and b) learning to spell. That’ll probably do as in 5 or so months time my life is going to be turned upside down again and it seems fruitless in making any plans when there are so many butterflies flapping their wings in distant parts of the world, determined to make my life interesting in ways unidentifiable.

For example, only this morning I got a call telling me that my current contract was going to end sooner than anticipated because, well, I’m not sure what the real reason is but it might be to do with clash of characters and one of the characters involved might be me. Or it’s more likely that there’s a lack of funding for a project that’s currently running about 6 or so months late (even though there’s no official deadline) and my leet haXXor skillz invoke a premium rate so are first for the chop. It’s mixed blessings - glad to be off the project but not relishing having to stand on the metaphorical street corner prostituting myself out to the highest bidder again. It’s hardly the weather for it either.

Back soon when you will be victim to the last two of my Top 20 games list (possibly post-dated to be pre-christmas) and some more invective filled blathering about nothing in particular.