My current contract ended today so we had a bit of a piss up last night and I’m not feeling altogether clever today but anyway, it’s over and done with and I don’t have to do that commute anymore. I get a week off and start a new contract at the beginning of March. I don’t quite know how I manage to fluke rolling from one job to the next without much trouble but there we go.

The downside is that it’s in Nottingham - which is not to cast aspersions on the place because although it’s inhabited by delinquents and reprobates and although everyone keeps telling me that it’s got the highest rate of gun crime in the UK, it is, reputedly, a pleasant location in which to domicile oneself. The downside comes in being 100 miles away from where I live which means commuting is pretty much out of the question (4+ hours a day? Fuck. That.) so I’m going to have to be away from home for the forseeable future.

That’s the forseeable future for the next three months which is over the end of April/ beginning of May which is when what happens? Anyone? What happens at the beginning of May? Bueller? Anyone? Bueller? Yes - that’s right, the birth of my second hatchling. So it’s highly convenient that I might get a call at, I don’t know, 2am and have to jump on my motorbike and hare home like a crazy-mad person.

There have been easier arrangements.

So mucho shito to sorto outo which predominantly is going to revolve around accommodation and finding out what the seediest parts of Nottingham are so as not to find lodging there.

Life. Don’t talk to me about life.

Yeah, it was pretty good. I enjoyed it which I’m glad about because I still had reservations about it going into the cinema but I came out happy.

Spoiler filled review when I can be bothered.

Just been updating my CV again.

When I say update, I mean entirely fake rewrite so that it looks like it’s more of a fit for a job spec I received on Friday. Curiously, after seeing the vacancy on the job boards, I saw it again this morning via a different recruitment agency but with an entirely different salary range. I know it’s the same job because it’s exactly the same wording but the salaries offered are totally different. Which just goes to show that recruitment agencies are lying bastards.

Speaking of lying bastards, that Gordon Brown - what a cunning stunt!¹ I swear to god that last years budget shafted everyone. I’m sure there’s a small percentile of the populace who are going to be better off at the new income tax and NI changes but fuck me - what he giveth with one hand, he taketh away with the other. Then again, this comes after a weekend of going through my company accounts, setting up payroll schemes, working out expense claims, taxable income and figuring out how much I can get away with while screwing the bastards at HMRC calculating what is the minimum contract rate/permanent salary I need to be able to maintain a house full of starving hatchlings.

Who’d want to be an accountant (asks the software developer!)

¹This may or may not be a spoonerism

Just before starting my present contract last year, I took a certification upgrade exam to keep my CV up to date. It wasn’t difficult and required a weekend of cramming and going through a sample test before pretty much breezing through the test itself. Because I originally upgraded my original certification to an advanced version (basic 3 tests plus 1 specialisation test), whenever I take an upgrade test, I keep my advanced status.

This week, 9 months or so after taking the test, I finally got my certificates through. I wasn’t really bothered about them - it’s not like anyone’s ever asked to see them - but it’s nice to be able to add it to the collection. I was more amused by the fact that it took IBM nearly a year to send them to me.

Then yesterday, I got another copy of the standard qualification certificate.

Today I got another copy of the advanced certificate.

The word “fuckwits” comes to mind.