I do love me some short films although, I hasten to append, not in a sordid, tell-your-neighbours-and-check-in-with-your-probation-officer kind of way. Short films can be absolutely bloody brilliant. They are an overlooked art form (in so much that it’s next to impossible to actually make money from them unless you’re in the type of short film making that is commonly known as advertising) but still, they can provide much amusement. If I had copious amounts of cash I’d blow it all on blackjack and hookers but should I get bored of that, I’d make/produce short films. Long films too if I had loadsamoney but I’d like to fund short film production too.

Fortunately there are some people out there with more money than sense - like those crazy fools at Virgin Media who are holding the very first Virgin Media shorts competition (I say first but there’s no guarantee that there’ll be more). Submissions for films that are no longer than 2.5 minutes are eligible and need to be, um, submitted between now and the end of June. The first prize is £30,000. Yes, that’s right - thirty thousand quid. £30K. A three with four zeroes. The top ten or something will also get shown on telly and on the big screen. It’s a fantastic competiton with the only downside being that it’s being run by the incompetent twunts at Virgin Media but aside from that, if you’ve got a film that’s <= 150 seconds then you could do worse than enter it. I will be sorting out a hi-res version of Fairy Tale for the entry but I don’t hold out any hope for it but nothing ventured, nothing gained as Yoda didn’t say. I’ve also got it in mind to see if I can cut seven and a half minutes out of another script I’ve got and get it filmed before the closing date but that’s - what’s the word? Oh yeah, extremely fucking unlikely!

On a related note (and also related to the previous post) Nine Inch Nails (in association with YouTube) are holding the Ghosts film festival, introductory details of which can be seen here. Simple idea: listen to Ghosts I-IV then provide some visuals inspired by the fine tunes you’ve slooshyed with your extremely attractive and slightly furry ookos.

If neither of those appeal to you or if two is simply not enough for the three-in-one-go person that you are, perhaps you’d like to enter the Uwe Boll Movie Challenge which, allegedly, is to be judged by the pesky homunculus himself. Unfortunately the closing date for that is the 16th of May - but considering the nature of the competition, you could probably churn out at least 3 diminutive masterpieces between now and then! Sadly, I will definitely be skipping this one. Then again, the quality of video on my mobile phone isn’t too bad…