It’s coming up to a month since the birth of my daughter - I can’t believe how quickly it’s passed! So now I’m going to tell you a little more about giving birth at home (but don’t worry, I’m not going into detail about the minutiae.) The reason I asked if people wanted to know¹ about giving birth at home is because so many people have expressed surprise at our choice to do so, especially as we had kept the fact that we planned to have a home birth (as opposed to getting caught on the hop) pretty much to ourselves. The reason we did this is because of fleeting conversations we had with people who said things along the lines of “giving birth at home is crazy!” and “why would you risk it?” As we didn’t either want or feel the need to justify our decision, we decided that we’d only tell immediate family and very close friends.

Let me tell you right now: choosing a home birth for our second child was absolutely and definitely the right decision for us and it went wonderfully (although understand that this is coming from the point of view of a bloke and not someone who had to actually do the hard work.)

My son, who is coming up to two and a half years old, was born in a local hospital. The experience we had there was considerably more stressful and difficult than the second time around and was another reason why we chose to go for a home birth. It helped that we knew the local midwife (who has four children herself) and live in an area where there something like ten times the national average of home deliveries each year. We also know another mother - who happens to be a GP - who had seen this midwife resuscitate a baby that has just been born so we had confidence in her skills.

The comment we heard most was “But what if something went wrong?” and it’s a fair question. We deliberated and discussed this quite a lot between ourselves and with the midwife. We looked at alternatives, went to see both the hospital we’d have to go to (slightly further away thatn the nearest hospital to us which is 20 minutes away but in the same county) as well as looking at the (god-awful) birthing centre. We put together contingencies and we planned for the worst case scenario. (My wife even sat down with a friend of ours who was going to attend as well (seeing as how it was quite possible I’d be in Nottingham and not on hand) and told her that if the worst happened - i.e. she died - then there was to be no blame assigned.) We also trusted that our midwife would know when things weren’t going to plan and would be able to advise us on what we needed to do.

But, and here’s the rub, the chance of intervention during a home birth is probably lower than being in hospital because, generally, the environment is much more calm and conducive to a relaxed labour and birthing process. It’s familiar, it’s safe, it’s not at all clinical and, best of all, it’s home. Everything was set up exactly as my wife wanted it, music was playing, the bean bags were out, all that she wanted was to hand. Once we called the midwife and after the initial exam, all we did was sit around drinking tea and having a chat. Well, all apart from my wife who obviously had other things on her mind at the time.

And then, on the stroke of midnight, my wife gave birth to a beautiful little girl and an hour or so later, we were in our own bed, in our own house and not in some impersonal hospital ward surrounded by a load of noisy strangers. It was, even if I do say so myself, remarkably stress free.

Another benefit we’ve since discovered about giving birth at home is that our baby is remarkably calm. The midwife told us that, in her experience, babies born at home are generally calmer. You see, being in hospital and away from the safety and security of the nest is likely to cause a surge of adrenaline and this (so she reckons) will affect not only the nature of the birth but also the child. Certainly hatchling #2 has been absolute angel and so much more placid than her brother ever was so there may be something to it.

If someone asked us whether or not to go for a home birth, we’d recommend it wholeheartedly. We’d even think about having a third if it wasn’t for the prospect of nine months of morning (or at least, all the time) sickness that my wife would have to endure (which she described to me as having the worst hangover I could imagine every day for nine months without even the joy of having a drink the night before). There are provisos, of course, and a lot of thought needs to be given to it as it’s not necessarily the right thing for everybody but I would encourage people to think about it because that night was one of the most amazing and best experiences of my life. Although, of course, I didn’t have to have do something which has been equated to shitting out a melon!

¹Only one person replied so I’m guessing you don’t want to know about it but I’ve never been one to pander to my audience!