I started writing a fucking long-winded, pretentious post examining and dissecting the Alien films when the realisation that it was all a load of guff. What it boils down to is that Aliens are cool and the first two films in the franchise were fantastic. I mean, it’s 1979 and people are still reeling after the runaway success of Star Wars and its aliens, especially the lethal yet lovable Chewbacca when all of a sudden, Ridley Scott and Dan O’Bannon come along with the godking of biomechanical nightmares himself, H.R. Giger, in tow and say “You think that’s cool? Wait till you get a load of this!” and unleash a terrifying vision of extra-terrestial horror on us.
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Although it’s been on release in the States since Christmas Day, this weekend sees the UK release of Aliens vs Predator: Requiem, the sequel to the hit 2004 movie, Alien Vs Predator. Yes, that’s right, the hit movie - despite being slated by both critics and fans, the film made more money relatively in terms of box office takings than any of it’s predecessors, nearly doubling it’s $45m budget in the US alone.

Like the sad geek that I am, I was originally going to watch all 4 Alien films, both Predator films and the first AvP before the weekend but, after multiple discussions about the merits and qualities of both franchises on a few messageboards around the ‘net (none, I hasten to add, being fan sites), I figured it would make more sense for me to spout nonsensically about it all on the only site that counts - this one here.

Then, if you’re really, really lucky, I might even give you a review of the film after I go to see it on Saturday. (It has already been universally panned by most people so I’m not expecting it to good - but as you will find out, it’s not a concept that I think will ever be executed well.)