I tried to go and see The Mist tonight but it was sold out. Instead I am sitting at home¹ with a copy of Shoot ‘Em Up² and a couple of tinnies. Apparently it’s like Wanted only with gorgeousness supplied in the form of the sizzingly hot Monica Belluci rather than that overrated, big lipped weirdo who was possibly attractive in Hackers but not so much after that.

Hopefully this will not only make up for the disappointment of not getting to see The Mist tonight but might also make up for suffering through Christopher “Clock my Best Original Screenplay Oscar for The Usual Suspects and did I mention that I’d never written anything before?” McQuarrie’s distressingly dull directorial debut “The Way Of the Gun” which was no small amount of pretentious and featured disturbingly little action for a film with that sort of title. Can hardly remember anything about the film apart from the last act which was okay.

¹ My flat more than my home. I still like to make that distinction even though I’m here more than I’m there.
² Which I got on the cheap from the local Co-op along with Snakes On A Plane, Deathproof and Harry Potter V. And enough Stella to sink a ship. Well, perhaps a trawler. Maybe a rowing boat. Okay, a coracle! If it was really small.

I’ve vaguely committed to trying to get these three articles out (part 1 and part 2 being here) about my first experience as a producer so rather than leaving it standing, here’s the last part which is really the bit where I actually talk about how it all went. I don’t know if there’s any benefit to anyone in what I’m writing here as there are probably far better insights from people with considerably more experience than I’ve got. Maybe there’s someone who’s thinking about being a producer or about to go into it for the first time and perhaps something here might be of use or maybe not. (If you’ve come across this article hoping to find some information and it’s not here, please feel free to leave a comment or get in touch and I’ll help if I can.)
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I think I must actually be the adult audience that the new series of Doctor Who is aimed for. After last night’s episode, the series finale, I decided to have a quick look at one or two fan sites to see what they said and was quite surprised at the amount of - well, I don’t know what but I think it may have involved flaming torches, pitchforks and probably tar. And feathers. And no small amount of radishes (but not this dinky little british ones - those mediterranean jobbies that are the size of a small house.)

You see, I quite enjoyed last nights episode and I have absolutely no complaints whatsoever. Spoilers, obviously, ensue.
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Have you ever read a screenplay where, at the beginning of a piece of dialogue, just under the characters name, there’s a bracketed phrase like, for example, “(under his breath)” or “(fear-induced autopilot)”¹? These parantheticals are often known as “wrylys” (or wrylies - not sure what the plural is) because, apparently, it’s very common for a (novice) writer to put “(wryly)” before dialogue. Now, I gather that parantheticals are often frowned upon by script readers for a start but I’m guessing that they’re even more frowned upon if they actually put “wryly” in a parenthetical, before a piece of dialogue.

I was reading the screenplay for “Indiana Jones and the City of the Gods” tonight - the legendary screenplay by Frank Darabont that, so it goes, Spielberg and Ford said was one of the best screenplays they’d ever read² but George Lucas apparently dismissed and summarily fired Darabont from writing duties for no reason that’s even been put forward. There, on page 3 of the script, for all to see is a parenthetical before a piece of dialogue that simply says “(wry)”. One of the best scripts Spielberg has ever seen and there’s a wryly on page 3.

Fuck you Syd Field - it’s my screenplay and I’ll use a wryly if I want to!

¹ A real one from the screenplay for “The Bourne Ultimatum” by Gilroy, Burns and Nolfi
² Yes, that scene is still in it.

I woke up this morning¹ with a thought rampaging around my head. Being quite alone, it made quite a lot of noise in there and try as I might, I couldn’t get it to shut up and I really really did need it to both shut up and get the fuck out of my head beause it wasn’t a helpful thought nor particularly useful. But it’s been lingering there all day.
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The second of a short series about my experience as a first-time producer on a short film. Part 1 is here.

The director and I were both painfully aware of one significant fact during the whole of pre-production and the actual shoot: I was the only person in involved who did not have any professional experience there and I was pretty much running it. If you’ve ever seen that old Channel 4 series called “Faking It” well that’s pretty much how I felt. Fortunately for me, there are a whole library worth of books that tell you a lot about what’s involved and I’ll recommend some of those later on.
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I wasn’t very enthralled by the trailers for The Incredible Hulk until one of the last TV spots appeared that, I don’t know, just made me a little more curious. I’d read good things about the film and decided that there were worse ways of spending an evening.

I’ve got to say that I really enjoyed it. It’s not as good as Iron Man and is very different to Ang Lee’s more ponderous version and, overall, I’d say it’s a better film for it. It doesn’t try to be so clever which is probably a good thing considering the subject matter. Man turns into green monster when he gets angry and smashes everything up. I’m not a big fan of the comic but the film really worked for me.
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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a film that needs no introduction and if it does then I don’t know why you’re reading this. It’s been out for a while so most people have seen it and those who haven’t may already be aware of the reputation it’s garnered because of a particular scene that has been immortalized in a new phrase that is currently doing the rounds of the internet.

Skip to the end: the film’s not bad but it’s not great either.
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It’s suddenly occurred to me that today is the first of July. Which means that I’ve been throwing words at the screen which have occasionally been falling into some semblance of order and manifesting themselves as blog posts on this site for five years.

Five fucking years.

Ouch.

The archives on the left are not a complete set of everything that’s ever been written here. There have been a couple of hiatusessees and for a long time, I only had what was there from the reboot back in, um, 2005 I guess. (Yup - four month hiatus from Nov 04 to Mar 05, most of which you spent in and out of hospital. Ed.) I restored the previous two years a few months ago although not in their entirety as a lot of the highly personal stuff (of which there was quite a lot back then for one reason or another) was culled to concentrate on, well, less personal topics.
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When I was a child which was oh so long ago, neither parents nor teachers had any reservations about smacking recalcitrant children. These days, however, it is considered not only improper but also illegal.
As the father of two children, one of whom is in his “terrible twos” and can be quite a handful at the best of times, I thought I’d share a method that I found to be quite effective. We’ve used the usual means of discipline - ‘time outs’, ‘naughty step’, holding back rewards until he displayed desired behaviour etc. all with a varying degree of success but, recently, he seems to be merely tolerating these methods as nothing but interruptions to his day.

There’s one method that I’ve found to be quite effective and that’s simply to take him for a car ride. I find that taking him out and having a chat gets him to calm down fairly quickly. The theory is that by removing him from the immediate situation and providing a change of scenery, he’s allowed to focus on something different. Once he has the opportunity to change perspective, he becomes much better behaved and is getting a good understanding of his place within the family and what we feel is acceptable and appropriate behaviour.

The best thing about it?
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